Connections and Updates

Being here on the weekends gives my dad a break from being mom's primary caretaker. As she sleeps in the living room recliner, he sits at his computer in the waning daylight, reading and responding to e-mail.

My dad has a lot of friends and acquaintances, so it's no surprise that his inbox is full of sincere inquiries about my mom's health and messages offering caring and support.

In the upscale, "active adult" community where my parents live, aging, illness and death are not sugarcoated. It's part of everyday life here, so the notes from friends and neighbors here are gentle, but candid, because most of them have been through the experience and understand. 

My dad responds to each one, with the latest updates and information about my mom. His words are more realistic than hopeful. Some people might cut and paste to avoid having to relay the same information over and over again, but for him, I think composing each e-mail individually is part of what he needs to do right now. He's preparing himself for what he sees as the logical conclusion to this episode and if he talks about it and writes about it enough, maybe he thinks he'll be better prepared.

As caregiver, he hasn't been getting out of the house for his normal activities and routines, so e-mail is his outside connection right now. But because most of the e-mail he's receiving/responding to is about my mom, I wonder if the constant reading and responding to the same questions and concerns is taking him far enough away from this for the break he needs?