Bringing the Kids?

Since mom's health has declined so fast, I haven't really had a chance to explain anything to Isak and Owen. They were here with me two weeks ago, and it was pretty clear to them that she was ill, but I don't think they thought about it a whole lot.

Of course, in the days since, the kids overhear the conversations, the multiple, daily phone calls with my dad, Sarah and the people in my life. That gives them a gradual awareness, but it's time to have a more in-depth conversation with them about it.

My friend and neighbor Nicole, who lost her mom to cancer two years ago, reminded me of the importance of letting the kids spend time with mom and to absorb what's happening in their own way. Being here to see it and connect with their grandmother makes it easier for them to say goodbye when it's time to do that, and takes away the mystery of death.

Alternate weekends with their dad make it tough for me to bring the boys here every weekend. At this point, I'm considering bringing them up here for a day or two this week. Nicole reminded me that it's OK if they miss a day or two of school right now.

It's impossible to say whether mom is in her last days with us. Even so, I don't want to wait until it's too late to have the experiences with her, or to encourage the people in her life to be here with her if they want to. I don't want to call it saying goodbye, but I think we will all be grateful for just being able to spend a little more time with her right now.