No New Growth

Mom had scans, her first since August. It surprised me that it had been that long. Her oncologist called the next morning - he had already seen the scans, and called to say there was "no new cancer growth."

I was thrilled, but I also had a lot of questions. As in, no new cancer growth since August? As in, what is the recommended course going forward?

I also wondered about my dad. Just a couple of weeks ago, he was certain that her cancer was growing and that this is why she was so ill, and that it would be a fatal episode for her. I kept challenging him, saying there were no scans, no diagnostics to show one way or the other. He had been so firm, so stubborn. What was he thinking now that we had something to work from?

As we talked, he told me about mom's progress. She's eating a little more every day, moving around a little more every day. "She's getting stronger," he said.

"So..what are you thinking you'll do about Hospice?" I asked tentatively.

"I think we've reached the time where Hospice is no longer necessary," he said."She's able to do everything for herself again, so there's really no need to continue."

"I think you're right," I said. "Be sure and mention it to the doctors, and get their concurrence."

"The oncologist has already said it's time to discontinue," he said.

"OK. Well, you know how to handle it. You know what you need to do," I said.

My dad is worried that I've thought he wasn't doing a good enough job as mom's caretaker. Quite the opposite. He's not hard wired to be that attentive, nurturing caregiver type. It doesn't come naturally to him. But he did what needed to be done, and it's not easy to be on call 24x7, to constantly be on alert for midnight wake ups and to constantly worry about her. It's easy to second guess ones self. We all do the best we can.